Check It Yeah, It's On

28Oct/130

Sleep and the Buzz of Sleep Deprivation

I've had an on again off again relationship with sleep.

Sometimes I think I'm able to beat the system.  This system, is the human body's and mind's "requirement" of sleep.

I think of the monks who are able to meditate and generate body heat to dry off a wet towel.  I think of mind over matter.  I think of the mind's control over the functions (including healing and regenerative functions) of the body.

And if I can somehow... some way...  train the mind to perform these functions more effectively and efficiently, then by golly I should be able to reduce the amount of sleep "required" to sustain myself.

I have tried to desensitize my body and mind.  Numb the urge and feeling of sleepiness.  This is my training.  Hard body training of the martial artist meets hard mind training against sleep.

There is this feeling.  There is this feeling you get when you are a bit sleep deprived.  When you feel that your mind is running at higher RPMs.  When it's 3AM and yet you're not as tired as perhaps 95% of people are around this time (in your same timezone).  When you're thinking of the possibilities of yourself, of the world... endless.

This feeling may be one of delusion.  It may be clouded judgement.  This feeling, is the buzz of sleep deprivation.

And perhaps I've become drunken from this feeling.  An addict to the substance, or lack thereof.  To the point where sleep itself becomes the downer.  When you go to sleep excited, determined, confident, and focused... and yet, awake in a sense of hopelessness.  I awaken more tired and sleepy than I did before I lay my head upon the pillow.

Where art thou, the restorative nature of sleep?  Show forth yourself, the being with which you proclaim!

I do not see it.  I do not feel it.  I do not like green eggs and ham... and yet, I surrender.  I surrender to the beast.  I am a slave to it.  I accept it as my keeper.

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